Let's Talk About Mortality: the Death Deck
Fact. You are going to die. How often do you think about this?
A) Often. But I try not to completely obsess about it.
B) Enough. Sometimes it makes me worry and sometimes it makes me appreciate life.
C) Rarely. I’m too busy L-I-V-I-N’
"Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it"
-Haruki Murakami
The Death Deck
I first learned about the Death Deck when listening to a podcast episode from the Purposeful Planning Institute. It hooked me immediately and after listening I was excited to purchase the game. Once the game arrived my wife and I decided to play that very night, we were both excited but also a little nervous. Growing up, there has always been a stigma surrounding death; it always felt like something we weren’t supposed to think or talk about until it arrived. In my experience, most people struggle to come to terms with their mortality.
The Death Deck was created by Lisa Pahl, a hospice and emergency medicine Social Worker and Lori LoCicero a Writer, Entrepreneur and self-proclaimed eternal optimist. The game consists of 112 question cards that include both multiple-choice and open-ended questions.
After playing, I realized how much potential the game has to change and help us talk about tough topics in a way that is lighthearted and even fun. We took turns drawing cards and asking questions and then answering ourselves, each one sparked a conversation about something we hadn’t really shared with each other. We only went through a handful of cards but we were talking for over an hour; discussing death and our personal feelings and wishes, things that at our current stage of life we’d never thought to ask one another.
Since getting the game I’ve also started playing with a friend that I collaborate on a project with every week, it has become the way we conclude each meeting. We’re nearing our 30s and while many people may think “My goodness! You have so much life ahead of you, why waste any sort of time talking about death with friends or family.” I’ve realized that playing has destigmatized the topic and opened up conversations that you may never have thought to have. Death is a part of our life, whether we like it or not and the sooner we embrace it the sooner we can embrace living our lives to the fullest.
At this point, you may be thinking “What sort of questions are these?”
Here are a few of my favorites that I’ve played so far:
After you die, how long should your significant other wait before dating?
What would be the best way to die?
After you are dead, do you think you will know how you died?
Do you believe in the death penalty?
Have you ever witnessed someone taking their last breath?
Some of these questions are tough, they make you think and look inward at what you believe in and hope for. These are incredibly special conversations that I’ve been able to have with my spouse, friends and family. I would highly recommend giving this game a try, together we can destigmatize death.
To learn more about the death deck or to purchase the game click here.
